Prince Harry Not the Real Father of Archie, Reports Tabloid

In shocking news, one of this week's celebrity magazines has reported that Prince Harry is not the real father of Meghan Markle's baby, Archie.

The Globe claims that a DNA test using amniotic fluid, routinely performed on royal babies, revealed that the redhead is not the child's biological father.

The article further alleges that Prince Harry refuses to accept a royal DNA test proving he's not the father of his American wife's baby.

To make its phony premise seem believable, the habitually disproven supermarket tabloid quotes a so-called high-level palace source saying Harry was devastated.

The supposed tipster continues that all the joy he felt for the infant evaporated in an instant.

The same source maintains that Prince Harry turned on the royal official who brought the DNA and yelled, “This is a sick scam,” before asking how Markle's enemies within the palace could concoct this conspiracy against an innocent child, “our child.”

A better question is how the publication thought it could get away with its concocted tale about Archie's paternity.

To cover its tracks, the often debunked publication adds how Prince Harry had a second DNA test taken which showed he is the infant's biological father.

However, the almost assuredly made-up palace source says he's been met by a wall of skepticism from his family.

No one seems to believe him.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have been urged to reconcile with the royal family for a better tomorrow.

Kinsey Schofield, a royal commentator, has claimed that the couple must take any chance they can to resolve royal rifts as no one has any interest in having the Sussexes around following their shock exit and subsequent interview with US TV host Oprah Winfrey.

“If Harry and Meghan accept the Queen's invitation to Balmoral, it will be out of necessity.

Megxit was one thing, but the Oprah interview was an entirely different level of betrayal.

I still don't believe that the couple properly weighed the pros and cons of executing that interview,” Ms. Schofield told the Daily Star last week.

She added, “No one else really has any interest in having the Sussexes around, so yes, they must jump at any opportunity they have to still appear to be in the fold.”

Another columnist previously claimed that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will not last long unless they patch things up with the Royals.

Appearing on an episode of Ms. Schofield's Today for Daily podcast last month, Perez Hilton said, “I also just do not see them, Meghan and Harry, lasting long unless they patch things up with the royal family.

And after the Queen dies, that might be a moment of reckoning.

Who knows how the monarchy will change.”

The royal expert added, “Harry has no family here in Montecito.

He has no lifelong friends in Montecito.

He has new friends, he hobnobs with David Foster, Katy Perry, and Orlando Bloom, and with Ellen I'm sure, and with Oprah down the street.

But he's in the honeymoon phase of moving, and that is all fun now.

His children are still very young, but I would think that eventually there might come a time when he would want his children to have a meaningful relationship with his family.

So I do think eventually he will want to move back.”

Perez Hilton disagreed with speculation that Meghan Markle may enter the political sphere, instead arguing that she is likely to return to acting.